Since November last year, my spirit had been in a downward spiral. I could not see any endings anymore to the long and winding divorce battle I had been in since 2008. A verbal agreement was reached but it took my ex another 5 months before coming through on it. And those months for me were worse then when I actually stepped out of our marriage.
I stopped believing in a "reasonable" outcome. Good it would never be, but "reasonable" I could deal with , and even so I had no trust in "reasonable" anymore. I dragged myself through day by day by day, pestering my lawyer constantly in order for things to hopefully go ahead, although the ball was not in his camp either. I was merely surviving, not living, awaiting the "liberation" that I needed so badly to happen.
It was not until the very last day, the day that the court case I had against him would be going through, that my ex finally succumbed and signed the agreement we had made verbally so many months ago, actually going back to the original agreement of two years earlier. He was even pressured in doing so, otherwise I guess it would never have happened and a long legal battle would have been my future for the first years to come. And I think I could not have made it through that. I was even making plans of moving country, should worse come to worse.
That was were I was at in the month of March this year. Desperate, panicking, although trying to keep my head up, loosing all trust, faith and patience with the whole thing, depression creeping in , not interested in anything or anyone anymore.
And then all of a sudden the turnaround came. The funny part is that once things start to turn around, they turn in many aspects at the same time. It's as if a chain event takes place...one door opens and suddenly a whole lot of other doors also open, leaving one completely taken by surprise--in a good way.
That's what happened to me. Not only did I finally get to sign our agreement, but in the same week my emotional life took a whole new start. I fell in love, head over heels, not thinking it would ever happen again to me, especially not with that person, who I already knew for a while, since the last two years had been very weird in that department as well.
So when the day came to sign , I was not the pessimistic depressed woman, with no hope for the future anymore. I was a very happy customer in complete bliss and with a whole new outlook on life, on new possibilities, I thought would never arise anymore. I was alive again for the first time in a long long while.
So I can truly say...Miracles DO happen....and timing is crucial , as if divine powers are at work. At least that's how I see it. When things were at its worst, all was bad. Then a sparkle of light came in , and all of a sudden tha sun started shining bright and warm again.
Looking back at it now, I can say that it was not a minute too late. Just perfect coming together of things, all in the same week. If someone else would tell me the story I might have a hard time believing it, but now that I lived it myself, I know that it can happen.
All one needs is an open mind, patience, and a whole lot of faith, because it is true...after rain always comes sunshine, even after he biggest downpour ever.....
You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.
Paulo Coelho
Blessings
C.
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